Friday, November 02, 2007

Halloweenies

Calling all pictures! I'm not quite sure how it happened but I only ended up with a toddler-sized handleful of pictures from the party. So I'm making a plea to anyone who took pictures to send them my way. I'll upload them to the album and then we can all get to them. 'Cause Stephan needs his 15 minutes of fame for his kick-ass robot costume. Seriously that thing was incredible!

I can't believe I don't even have a picture of my own costume. How lame is that!?

Oh well, at least we caputred the lobster and the robot (see gallery).

Pumpkin Ball 2007 Photos

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Eleven AM and All Is... Well, It's Still Boring.

I'm having serious boredom issues lately. Yes, I have a big party to get together this weekend, I've got my first work-travel for my job coming up, I have to finalize the layout for the November issue of the paper, I've just moved into a new house, my sweet little niece is about to turn 2, and I can't wait to be in Disneyland for my birthday... but I'm still freaking bored!

While I like my current job, and love the people that I work with, I can't help but wonder if a highly skilled chimpanzee could do my job. I am responsible for tracking product interest, software evaluation requests, and facilitating workshops and seminars. This may sound like a lot of hard work but when one of my skills is streamlining processes it becomes a very little amount of work. Hence the boredom.

I spend the first 5-10 minutes of work checking email. I move on to monitoring 3 inboxes for workshop, software eval, and product info requests. I determine if they are valid leads, track them in spreadsheets, enter them into databases if necessary, and forward them on to the necessary people. This takes less than an hour. Which gets me somewhere in the neighborhood of 9:30am.

This is the point in my day that my co-worker (and project leader) Angie stops by the kitchenette (next to my office) for some coffee and a quick chat about what was on TV last night. We are both unashamed TV fans, especially of certain reality shows. We usually spend a significant amount of time chatting about the fools on said shows. On the dockett today was the psychos on The Bachelor and some more Big Brother. Yes, Big Brother is over but we obssessed about it all summer and just can't let it go. Especially now that they are "re-airing" the live feeds. The time is now 10:30am.

I move on to see if I need to order/ship any materials for upcoming events and do whatever tasks I have on the list. I am now at 10:45am. And all caught up on my work for the day.

I now have to sit around and process any new emails and to make sure I am available in case anyone needs help with a random project. So far today, no new emails and no projects on the horizon. Same as yesterday. And the day before.

It's times like these that I get desperate. I promise you that by the time 5pm rolls around I will have watched at least one Netflix, more than one TV show that the networks now make available on their websites, any number of YouTube clips people send my way, read disheartening articles about the presidential candidates and/or global news, and will have stared out my office window for minutes on end without blinking.

I am running out of ways to pass the time.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I’m Going Insane

Last night I dreamt the following…

I was walking down the street in what looked like Heidelberg (a city in Germany I stayed in a couple of years ago). Cobbled streets, quaint shops, just look at the photo.

Anyway, it’s the day before Halloween and I realize that I have no costume. I begin to panic. I’m suddenly walking very briskly through the streets and stumble into a toy/costume shop. For whatever reason I pick up a plastic broom that looks like it would be a part of some hollow light-up holiday lawn decoration, and continue making my way through the store.

When I get to the wig section I realize that I am being pursued by a hostile child, looking to be no more than seven, who contests that I have stolen his broom and he wants it back. I am about to argue that it in no way belongs to him when I wake up.

What the hell!?

I need to think of a costume. Fast. Sure I’ve thought of a ton of costume ideas, but none have been brilliant I assure you.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Kate

Sarah gave birth to Kate yesterday, making me realize more than ever that I will need serious drugs before giving birth. SERIOUS DRUGS!

Congratulations Sarah, she's perfect.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Bobby

Where is this generation's Bobby Kennedy?

I just finished watching Bobby, and I'm shocked at how similar the country was then as it is now. And with all of the knowledge of what happened then and everything since, nobody has stepped up to make a real difference. Sure we've had some good presidents, but we're back where we were in 1968... in the middle of a war nobody wanted to be involved in, police blockades at voting booths in "less desireable" areas of cities, and predictions of gas mask requirements within decades due to growing emissions.

When Kennedy declared his candidacy he said, "I run because I am convinced that this country is on a perilous course and because I have such strong feelings about what must be done, and I feel that I'm obliged to do all I can." That's really all we are asking for; someone brave enough to step up and say "screw you" to their peers, colleagues, and big money in order to fight for change.

At only 43-years old, Kennedy stood for racial and economic justice, non-aggression in foreign policy, decentralization of power and social improvement. He engaged with young voters, not just to win votes but because he felt they were the future. A future based on partnership and equality. A novel idea wasn't it?

So who is going to step up? Which one of these guys is willing to make waves and bite their thumb at the rest of them? Let's meet the contenders...

DEMOCRATS:
Joe Biden "What I'm most proud of in my entire career was writing the Violence Against Women's Act because it is evidence we can change people's lives, but the change is always one person at a time."

Hilary Clinton “Voting is the most precious right of every citizen, and we have a moral obligation to ensure the integrity of our voting process.”

Chris Dodd “Every American deserves to live in freedom, to have his or her privacy respected and a chance to go as far as their ability and effort will take them - regardless of race, gender, ethnicity or economic circumstances.”

John Edwards “I was wrong to vote for this war. Unfortunately, I'll have to live with that forever. And the lesson I learned from it is to put more faith in my own judgment.”

Mike Gravel “If you're tired of the backbiting and the score-keeping and the special-interest-driven politics of Washington, if you want somebody who can bring the country together around a common purpose and rally us around a common destiny, then I'm your guy.”

Dennis Kucinich “We have weapons of mass destruction we have to address here at home. Poverty is a weapon of mass destruction. Homelessness is a weapon of mass destruction. Unemployment is a weapon of mass destruction.”

Barack Obama “We have an obligation and a responsibility to be investing in our students and our schools. We must make sure that people who have the grades, the desire and the will, but not the money, can still get the best education possible.”

Bill Richardson “Raising a family is difficult enough. But it's even more difficult for single parents struggling to make ends meet. They don't need more obstacles. They need more opportunities.”


REPUBLICANS:
Sam Brownback “As we consider the fast pace of scientific and technological progress in our modern world, we must not lose our moral compass and give way to 'free market eugenics'.”

Rudy Giuliani “Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do and how you do it.”

Mike Huckabee “There is a crisis in America. That crisis is divorce. It is easier to get out of a marriage than (to get out of a) contract to buy a used car.”

Duncan Hunter “We seem to be our own worst enemies. We should require critical U.S. infrastructure to remain in U.S. hands.”

John McCain “I believe in evolution. But I also believe, when I hike the Grand Canyon and see it at sunset, that the hand of God is there also.”

Ron Paul “I am absolutely opposed to a national ID card. This is a total contradiction of what a free society is all about. The purpose of government is to protect the secrecy and the privacy of all individuals, not the secrecy of government. We don't need a national ID card.”

Mitt Romney “People from both political parties have long recognized that welfare without work creates negative incentives that lead to permanent poverty. It robs people of self-esteem.”

Tom Tancredo “I am intent on making this immigration issue part of the national debate during that Presidential election... and I will do that any way I can.”

Fred Thompson “When we draw lines in the sand with regard to certain basic things that are vital to our interest and to the interest of democracy and our friends around the world, we have to be willing to back that up.”


There are just too damn many to keep track...
Where do they stand on the issues?
What experience do they have?
Where is there money coming from?
Where are they right now?
What's going on with the primaries?
What is their voting history?


There is a lot of information out there. I urge you to read it and decide for yourself. Don't let the media, friends, family, church, co-workers, or anyone else decide for you. It's your life, not theirs.

I'll leave you with my favorite Robert Kennedy quote:
"Few will have the greatness to bend history; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation ... It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is thus shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." -- Robert F. Kennedy, University of Cape Town, South Africa, N.U.S.A.S. "Day of Affirmation" Speech, June 6, 1966

Friday, August 31, 2007

What did you do on your summer vacation?

Me, I went on a sweet camping trip that involved hidden waterfalls/caves. I'm trying to wrangle photos to get them on here. We'll see. Also, I've read nearly a dozen books, one was of course Harry Potter... 'nuf said; I've gone to the drive-in three times, always a good time; and my guilty pleasure Big Brother was on again, I love that trainwreck. Good times really. I've been busier at work than I would like, meaning less time for friends but that can be remedied.

So let's here it friends. What were you doing this summer while I wasn't looking?

Side note: Office Season 3 comes out on September 4th and premieres on the 27th... wheeeeeeeeeee!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Desert Island Movies

Okay. Ashley has thrown down the gauntlet and I'm not one to back down from a challenge. So here goes, my top five desert island movies...

1. White Christmas - Yes, I watch it all year long and never get tired of it. "Where'd you leave that? In your snood?"

2. When Harry Met Sally - Comic genius: "You know, I have a theory that hieroglyphics are just an ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy."
-or-
Jess: "Baby talk"!? That's not a saying.
Harry: Oh, but "baby fish mouth" is sweeping the nation? I hear them talking.

3. Apollo 13 - I love the high-pressure, last-minute, problem-solving to get oxygen. All of NASA coming together to bring those men home. It's a great moment in history. And who hasn't said, "Houston we have a problem."

4. Princess Bride - Really, 'nough said.

5. National Treasure - I love the race through American histroy to solve the puzzle. I'm a sucker for history, what can I say?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Creed Thoughts


Oh, how I miss The Office.

If you are an intelligent human being who enjoys a good laugh, then you have inevitably tuned into The Office on NBC. I am currently having some withdrawal issues. I'll be the first to admit I didn't want to give the US version a chance. It wasn't like they were even trying to use the BBC premise and build off ot it, they flat out copied it. However, I caved. Derek brought over the DVD's and we watched them straight through, all 9.7 hours of them, until nearly 4am. And I was hooked. And season 3 was still running so I just kept on watching. I don't like having to wait.

So what's a girl to do during re-run season? Watch season 1 & 2 on DVD until you wearout the dics? Well I've done that! Now what!? Why visit Creed's blog of course.

Conveniently located at: www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts you no longer have to wait for you Office fix. This week's featured topic... Crab Apples. A side note from Creed:

Side Note: Crab apples have nothing to do with real crabs. I don’t want to get into some kind of lawsuit because you made an idiotic assumption, so I’m setting the record straight right now. Crab apples contain no actual crabmeat. There you go.

And there you go. Only 27 days until season 3 on DVD and 50 days until the one-hour season premiere. I'm giddy just thinking about it.

I really think it's the next generation that has it made. Just think of all the great shows that will be out on DVD that they get to watch free of commercials, re-runs, threats of cancellations, and the endless waiting for the next season to start. Spoiled brats! I just don't have the will power to wait until a show is completely out on DVD, I have to see it before someone spoils it for me.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Gooooood Morning IKEA!

It all started like this...

Maggie: I want to camp overnight at IKEA.
Amy: Okay.

There was no asking "Why?" When it comes to IKEA you don't need a reason to go. We left the kids at home and set off for IKEA of Portland on Tuesday night. We arrived around 7:15pm and staked our claim. As we looked at the crowd we were surprised there were not more people there, but figured there had to be more than 100 adults... leaving us empty handed on the free Pöang chair being given out to the first 100 adults through the door.

Less than an hour later we met the "line lady" and found out that we were number 92 and 93! Score! Free chairs! Weeeeeeeee! We had to sign some paper saying we were "In It To Win It". The rules stated that tents/chairs/blankets had to be gone by 7am, no alcohol/smoking/drugs in line, no open flames, and you are not allowed to leave the line for more than 10 minutes at a time or else you are disqualified. Yikes. Thank the lord they had port-o-potties on the premisis.

About an hour after we go there lucky number 100 showed up in line (seen here as the girl in the white sunglasses) and about 30 seconds after her unlucky number 101 claimed his spot in line.

And so began the long wait for the store to open. We were next to Bojangles (more on that later) and a 14-year-old girl. She was nice and all but she was 14 and alone... her aunt dropped her off. What kind of aunt drops off a girl to wait by herself? A fairly nice one we found out later when she arrived with her two kids and seriously encroached on my and Maggie's buffer space we had created between us and Bojangles. Mom and Shelah came by around 10pm and brought us some candy to add to our munchies bag, did a little people watching with us, and generally kept us company until around midnight.

We passed time playing cribbage, Yahtzee, and a crappy Target $1 section version of Jenga; of which I lost four games in a row and refused to ever play again. At about 1:45am the sprikler system went off soaking everyone next to the little strip of grass. Maggie and I were one row away so we only had to watch and laugh while eveyone else woke to find themselves in puddles. It's still funny just thinking about it.

2am rolled around and travel games were no longer cutting it. It was time to break out the iPod. What did we do before iPod's allowed us to watch Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion in the parking lot of an unopened store at 2am?

At 3:30am we started playing cribbage again. At around 5am the news crews began to arrive waking everyone up. Literally. By 5:30 almost everyone was awake, tents were down, and chairs put away. Everyone that is, except Bojangles. He got a personal wake-up call from Andy Carson from Fox 12 news. He was requesting the one song that the idiot had been singing all night. And which he then, thanks to stupid Andy Carson, sang all morning to every news and radion station in attendance. The song of which I speak is cleverly called 'IKEA', and is sung to the tune of Lola by the Kinks; ruining that song for me. Thanks for nothing Bojangles!

Once the IKEA employees, and a moose showed up the show actually began. Instead of the "cart lady" from the previous night handing out freebies now there were "authentically" dressed ladies throwing things into the crowd. As you can see these are not young ladies and watching them huck things into a crowd was hilarious. Not only did the items not go far they usually hit people in the head. A completely random give-away were the free keys. At one point in the morning we heard an announcer tell the crowd that complementary house key duplication would be going on at a tent nearby. Not one to turn down a free item, Maggie made her way over to the tent to see what it was all about. Turns out the duplicate key was a giant yellow key with IKEA written on it in blue. Freaking hilarious! We of course got two.

While the old ladies were busy hitting people in the head with free stuff the Flying Ace All-Stars were entertaining the crowd by jumping on a giant trampoline with skiis or snowboards. The guys are supposed to be pretty big in the sports world but I had never heard of them. And the only name I can remember of the three guys is Ryan St. Onge, a 2006 Olympic Team Member and 3-Time US National Champion who is on the 2010 US Ski Team. One of the other guys is on the 2008 US Olympic Trampoline Team. I still don't understand how that is a sport. And I honestly can't remember the other guy's name or what team he may or may not have been a part of. Sorry dude.

Finally the IKEA folks came around and gave all of the first 100 people in line neon bracelets to identify us, cards that were told "do not lose these cards, they can't be replaced" (no pressure there), and t-shirts to wear over the four layers of clothing we already had on from the night before. My question is why did IKEA only have shirts in two sizes? And why were those sizes XL and XXL? We were all swimming in those shirts. I don't like what that says about thier image of Portland shoppers.

Despite the ridiculous size of the shirts we were still pretty excited to get them. The excitement is evident as Maggie does her best "Excited Vasili" impression. And if you look closely in the background (right) you'll see that idiot Bojangles with his guitar.

The time finally came to get things underway. Before the doors opened, Mayor Mayor Tom Potter sopke about something that I tuned out, they rose the American flag (along with anthem), the Swedish flag (along with anthem), and then tried and failed to raise the Oregon flag. "We'll get to that later" they said. Ken Bodeen, the store manager welcomed the community into the IKEA family with a traditional Swedish log-sawing ceremony. There is no way of saying that with a straight face. It is supposed to bring good luck to the new store and its visitors.

The doors finally opened and we were handed a tiny gold envelope, lead through a gaunlet of screaming employees, up the escalator and into the store. I have to say, it was worth the wait. Going past all the excited employees was infectious. Maggie and I hurried to get out of the crowd and into a quite corner to open our gold envelopes. We both won "Buy-One-Get-One-Free Cinnamon Roll" coupons for the restaurant. Oh well. We already had free chairs!

Maggie had a list of things she wanted to we managed to break away from the crowd and found ourselves the first shoppers downstairs and were able to browse the store in peace. We finished fairly quickly; due to our exhaustion we just wanted to go home and sleep. We made it to the cashier without a scrape and as Maggie checked out I went to the self-checkout. It was gloriously fast and pain free... easier than at the grocery store. Turns out Maggie was the second official customer and was of course accosted by channel 8 news. I was the first through self-checkout but managed to evade the cameras. We made a quick trip to Returns/Exchanges to pick-up our chairs and were out of the store in under a half an hour. It was a lot of fun. For those that have never been to an IKEA you need to go to this one. It's better than the Renton, WA store by a long-shot.
We're already planning to go back by next week.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Harry Potter... and the Kick-Ass Book!

I have never anticipated a book so much in my entire life! And even better than it finally arriving on my doorstep, is that it did not disappoint me. I refuse to give away any of the plot. That would be spoiling it and that's just wrong.

A co-worker of mine was still finishing Goblet of Fire last week when she made the mistake of getting on the Internet. I had been avoiding all media beginning last Wednesday to avoid what she encountered. She was innocently visiting a message board she visits regularly about soap operas, when buried in a thread about some obscure soap plotline is a spoiler, in letters so large and red that she read it before she realized what it was. She proceeded to run down the hall to my desk and yell, "What is wrong with people!?" I concure. Why do people get joy from ruining it for others?

I am pleased to say that I made it to the end of the book without having a single detail ruined for me and I think the book is better for it. I was shocked, scared, heartbroken, confused, amazed, and so many other things while reading the final book. I honestly don't know how one woman could have created such a detailed and complex story that started out as children's literature. I finished the book at 4:04am on Sunday after about 13 hours of reading it. And all I wanted to do was call someone to talk about it some more. I was wide-awake. It took me nearly 45 minutes to fall asleep that's how on edge I was.

It's really hard to write how much I love this book without giving examples to prove how good it is, but I refuse to ruin that experience for anyone. I will end this love-fest by saying go read these books! GO! You will not be disappointed.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Even Skinny Women Are Fat...

At least according to Redbook. How else do you explain the doctored photo of Faith Hill, who happens to be on this month's cover.

I was scanning TMZ.com when I came across this photo. Turns out someone at Jezebel.com sent it their way. I don't see what's wrong with showing the world how a 39-year-old working mother of three girls really looks. And she looks incredible! What? Is she pushing a size 6? Is 6 suddenly too fat to be on the cover of a magazine? Is a beautiful normal sized woman suddenly too hideous to look at? I mean they didn't just airbrush her to make her look more appealing, they stuck her head on a completely different person. And not even a different woman, they put her head on some emacitated girl.

I'm scared for women of the next generation. How is anyone supposed to live up to this kind of "standard" when even skinny women are considered fat?

For a detailed account of what was changed check out this humorous rundown .

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Clark And Michael

For everyone who has been looking forward to Superbad, myself included, please check out Clark And Michael. Freaking hilarious!

Before you start doubting me here is a quote from the blog on their site:
"So every Wednesday, a new episode is going to be put up. Which means Episode 2 is a mere 1 day away! And it's loaded with laughs and laughters. Clark and I recently watched it and enjoyed it immensely. We both agree it's the only show on the internet to date that heavily features the two of us." -- Michael (Michael Cera)

There is hope for young Hollywood yet.


On an unrelated topic: I just overheard some guy in the office say, "Home Depot is the biggest homewrecker." I had to be careful how loud I laughed in agreement for fear they would catch on that I had been listening to them. Now, back to eavesdropping.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Green Street Hooligans - Watch It!

I just finished Green Street Hooligans and damn was that a good movie. Some people, okay a lot of people question my taste in movies but this one is damn good. It's dark but it's good.

It's about the world of Firms, or "gangs" of die hard football fans in the UK. If you have any interest in the culture of football in the UK and you don't mind unabashed swearing and blood, than this is a must watch for you. If you don't, than I can't help you.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Where The Wild Things Are

I am so out of the loop. I had no idea that Where The Wild Things Are is being made into a movie. Did you?

Spike Jonze is directing and co-wrote the screenplay; and the cast is has some fairly big names: Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine), Forest Whitaker, Michelle Williams, Catherine Keener, Catherine O'Hara. To be honest I'm not sure how I feel about a guy most know for Beastie Boy music videos and Jackass being in control of bringing one of the great children's books to life. Somethings are best left alone.

P.S. I just saw a picture of Kreacher and he's as horrible as I pictured him to be. Turns out the director had cut him out of the next film when J.K. Rowling suggested that they might want to put him back in if they didn't want to be "tied in knots" while writing the seventh film's screenplay. Proving what most fans have already predicted... Kreacher has something to do with at least one Horcrux. Like maybe he "rescued" it from being destroyed when the Black family artifacts were being purged? Maybe?

Monday, June 25, 2007

Lost in Culture

Some names just don't transfer from one culture to another. I give you exhibits A, the name of an individual who requested a software evaluation here at work.

Exhibit A: Dikshit Sindhwani

It's just unfortunate. I hope he didn't have to go to college in the states. That's hazing to another level.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Lost & Found



I nearly wet my pants laughing. If you're not a Lost fan then I'm sorry. You're missing out.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

In Other Theme Park News...

Potterworld.

It's no joke. I just can't believe it's taken this long. I guess with the last book coming out in July (weeee!) and the end of the movies in sight, they want to prolong the magic (read $$$). My only question is why the hell would you put it in Florida? Nothing about Florida is reminiscent of England.

More info: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007250210,00.html

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I Miss Disneyland Already

I already want to go back. Five solid days of Disney and I am having serious withdrawals. Derek, Michael, and I had too much fun. The weather was perfect. The first few days were a bit chilly, especially once drenched on Splash Mountain, and the guys had to break down and buy sweatshirts. Then it turned sunny and warm with a cool breeze and we couldn't have been happier.

We were at the park at opening everyday and were sad to leave it at night. We hit up the Tower of Terror, California Screamin', Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, and Pirate's of the Caribbean at least twice a day each.

Michael even wore a sport camera and tapped a few of the rides so we can relive them now that we are back home. You will not believe the quality of the video. I was shocked. I kept busy taking pictures that I hope will tide me over until the next visit... 551 photos to be precise. Granted a lot of them are of lanterns, but that's another story.

There were a whole lot more kids there than we thought. Turns out, in southern California every kids group and graduation party (girl scouts, boy scouts, youth outreach, kindergarten, 6th grade, 8th grade, 12th grade) you can think of goes to Disneyland to celebrate. I don't mind kids in small doses, but when they are let loose into a theme park all they do is talk about stupid crap really loud, try to show eachother just how "cool" they are, and generally get in my way and piss me off. Now I know not to go anywhere near the park at the end of May.


I'm going to try and get the photos organized and into a slideshow format for my iPod so I can plug it into a TV at a moments notice. You want to see the pictures and hear the stories just give me a call.

Disneyland is too far away.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Swarley Lives!

You don't know Swarley? What the hell is wrong with you?! Swarley A.K.A. Barney Stinson (brilliantly played by Neil Patrick Harris) is one of the funniest characters on television, with some of the most memorable lines. You doubt me? Here are some examples:

1. This is going to be legen… Wait for it! I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the last word is… dary!"
2. "That's because she did porn… wait for it… ography."
3. "Asking someone to come see your play is like asking them for a ride to the airport or to crash on the couch or to help you move. Call a cab, book a room, hire some movers. Friends don't let friends come see their crappy play!"
4. "Excuse me miss, you dropped something -- your jaw."
5. “You look so classy and nice, you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days. With the Ashley and the Lindsay and the Paris. They all dress like strippers. It's, ‘Go ho or go home.’”6. “You’ll be at home with the kid, while I’m out awesoming.”
7. And we can’t forget the many variations of “Suit Up!”… Snowsuit Up! Flightsuit Up! Birthday Suit Up! Slut Up!
8. “One of the 24 similarities between women and fish are they're both attracted to shiny objects. Don't you ever read my blog?”

This is the point where you go to his blog and read all the awesomeness. Why all the love for Swarley? Because CBS picked up ‘How I Met Your Mother’ for another season… yes! New shows CBS added for next year include these train wrecks:

Viva Laughlin: A drama, based on the BBC's Viva Blackpool, is a mystery about a casino owner. It's also a musical (you heard me right) produced by Hugh Jackman.

Moonlight: A vampire detective. -- Seriously.

Swingtown: About a town of swingers. -- Wow.

Oy vey!

Monday, May 14, 2007

The Greatest Show You Didn't Watch

Here are five reasons why NBC sucks:

1. NBC has canceled Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
2. NBC has canceled Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
3. NBC has canceled Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
4. NBC has canceled Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
5. NBC has canceled Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

Why do all the shows I love get canceled? Strike that. Why do all the smart shows get canceled?

Now what show am I supposed to obsess over? Ugh! I can't even form a coherent sentence I am so angry. NBC's reason for cancelation is that it is too expensive to make each episode. Not ratings, or lack of studio executive support, but freaking budget reasons. Well here's a solution for you... don't stick it in the crappy Monday at 10pm timeslot and maybe advertisers will pay more for a spot and people will freaking watch it. These people are idiots! Proof of their idiocy is that ER is still on the air and got picked up for another season. They need to give that show a DNR (Do Not Renew).

If you haven't seen the show watch it. It's really good. I have all the episodes on my iPod and have watched them so many times I can't even count. You can get the old episodes from iTunes and you can watch 6 new episodes starting next week. Yeah, you read right. They are airing new episodes after they canceled the show. Talk about a slap in the face.

Among the new NBC shows introduced at this year's upfronts, there are only two that I am looking forward to:

CHUCK — From executive producer, Josh Schwartz (I will watch almost anything from Josh Schwartz. I heart The O.C.) and executive producer-director McG. Chuck is a one-hour, comedic spy thriller about Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi) — a computer geek who is catapulted into a new career as the government's most vital secret agent. When Chuck opens an e-mail subliminally encoded with government secrets, he unwittingly downloads an entire server of sensitive data into his brain. Now, the fate of the world lies in the unlikely hands of a guy who works at Buy More. Instead of fighting computer viruses, he must fight assassins and international terrorists. With the government's most precious secrets in Chuck's head, Major John Casey of the NSA assumes the responsibility of protecting him.

THE IT CROWD — Based on the critically acclaimed British comedy, that offers a humorous behind-the-scenes peek at the people who truly keep the office humming. Roy (Joel McHale, The Soup) and Moss (Richard Ayoade, The IT Crowd U.K.) are the misunderstood masters of their high-tech domain, but they lack the people skills to befriend anyone but each other. Their company's head is Denholm, who wants the IT department to stay segregated and forever banished to the basement.

I must thank Kara for introducing me to the brilliance of the original IT Crowd from the UK, it is too funny for words. And I love that they are bringing over the original actor to play Moss.

This year's Upfronts continue on Tuesday with ABC, CBS on Wednesday and the CW and Fox on Thursday. So expect more ranting as the week continues.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Green Babies

I didn't like Shrek, and I didn't like Shrek 2 even more. So I don't anticipate liking Shrek 3 but green babies in the mud are just funny.

Is it me or do kids like the movies more than adults? I am just too creeped out by the lady ogre. I'm okay with dude ogres but for some reason the lady ogres creep me out.

Connect Four


This ranks right up there with inflatable Monopoly. I support the notion that things are usually more fun when they are tiny, but look at giant Connect Four. That would only be cooler if it was as tall as the house and you needed a ladder to reach the top. I wonder how much lumber it would take to build that?

Friday, April 20, 2007

Wanana!

Jack Bandit!

This is my scooter, Jack Bandit. He is spectacular in many ways. And today was his first trip to work from Newberg. I felt today would be a good day to break him from his winter slump. I woke up, it was sunny, and the weather is supposed to get up to 64 today; all signs pointed to yes.

My fingers however point to no. That is, they would if the pain would go away. They feel like I just slammed them all in the trunk of a car. They hurt so bad. It took 10 mintues to thaw the damn things out enough to type anything. I doesn't look that cold outside but turns out it's freaking 49 degrees and 'feels like' 42. Ugh! Too damn cold!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Who's ready to look like a fool?

Don't everyone jump up at once. I was just sent this in an email and spent the last 5 minutes looking like a complete moron... and still failed. If you can do it then you must drive to whereever I happen to be and show me. Because I will not believe you. You liar!

Here goes... See if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (trust me on this), and while sitting where you are, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot has now changed direction.

Monday, April 16, 2007

34 Days!

But who's counting? It has been brought to my attention that I have taken too long of a break from blogging. What can I say? I've been busy. Quitting your job, finding a new one, and moving takes a lot out of a girl.

To take the edge off I planned myself a little vacation... to Disneyland! Jealous yet? No? Well let me push you over the edge. We are going for 5 days at the end of May, just when the third Pirate's movie comes out. How many poeople can say that they rode the ride that the movie was based upon just hours before going to see the movie? Not many, but I'll be one of them. Mwahaha!

That's all I have for now. I will now resume regular blogging... probably. :)

Friday, January 05, 2007

Loaded Dice

My dad just sent me a video. And I have no words. I just want to know... How in the HELL does he do that!? Loaded Dice

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Shopaholic-aholic

The year was 2003. I was roaming through Barnes & Noble one evening, as I often do, when I came across a wonderfully pink spine that read 'Confessions of a Shopaholic'. I pulled the book off the shelf and read the back:

"Rebecca Bloomwood just hit rock bottom. But she's never looked better....

Becky Bloomwood has a fabulous flat in London's trendiest neighborhood, a troupe of glamorous socialite friends, and a closet brimming with the season's must-haves. The only trouble is that she can't actually afford it — not any of it.

Her job writing at Successful Savings not only bores her to tears, it doesn't pay much at all. And lately Becky's been chased by dismal letters from Visa and the Endwich Bank — letters with large red sums she can't bear to read — and they're getting ever harder to ignore.

She tries cutting back; she even tries making more money. But none of her efforts succeeds. Becky's only consolation is to buy herself something ... just a little something....

Finally a story arises that Becky actually cares about, and her front-page article catalyzes a chain of events that will transform her life — and the lives of those around her — forever."

I was intrigued. I left the bookstore with 'Shopaholic' and a few other pink books. Don't judge me. VanGough had his blue period. Mine just happened to be pink and come in the form of books instead of priceless works of art.

Anyway, I read the book as fast as I could turn the pages. Show of hands... who else ignores their bill statements because they believe if they can't see them they don't exist? Or, who buys two sweaters because the sign says "Two For The Price Of One" when you could really buy one for half the price? That's what I thought. Becky may be insane but there is some small part of her in you.

I passed the book around to friends and family who also loved it and was thrilled to see "Shopaholic Takes Manhattan" hit the shelves four months later. We all read it and it was just as funny. Then five months later, along came "Shopaholic Ties the Knot" and the spark was gone. Let's just say, I read it but was less than thrilled. The novelty had worn off and I was left reading about a woman who can't seem to get her foot out of her mouth long enough to take control of her own life.

I thought that had to be the end of it. She was married to a millionaire. What more could there be to the story?

A year later I was roaming around Target when I saw it... "Shopaholic and Sister". A long-lost sister!? Are you kidding me? I have not read it. I refuse to spend money on it. And have forgotten all about it until today. I got an 'Author-Alert' email today from Barnes & Noble letting me know that Sophie Kinsella is releasing a new book... "Shopaholic and Baby".

The basic plot of the latest installment is Becky's pregnancy; complicated of course by the fact that her "celebrity OB" happens to be an ex-girlfriend of her husband who will stop at nothing to win him back. The plot summary at Barnes & Noble online concludes with this poiniant summation: "Effervescent and clever amusement best enjoyed by thosewhose hearts beat faster at the thought of thousand-dollar baby furniture." Enough said.

Get in line soon. This soon-to-be classic hits the shelves February 27th.